Heavy Heart

[centrop67]

Radar has a fast-growing cancer on his neck and spine.

What was originally diagnosed as a soft-tissue injury has morphed into the worst possible news.

His days are numbered.

I am so sad I can't even function.

We all know about this inevitable ending, but we sign up anyway. Why do we do this to ourselves?

Hug your dog extra tight today. Give them that extra treat, reward, or adventure, Record and save it somewhere, so you can feel that joy in your heart over and over again.

[TimL_168]

I'm so sorry man.

[ladyjubilee]

I'm so sorry to hear this. He's a great dog.

[TimL_168]

Hey man. Thinking about him this morning. Radar has had a big part in leading a lot of people and dogs to answers and a better life. Tell him good morning from Endeavor and me. Give him some love and a treat from us if it's not too much to ask.

[ICE]

I am so sorry to hear this. This by far is the toughest part of having a dog. It makes my eyes water just thinking about it. I am so sorry.

[centrop67]

Thank you everyone. Please enjoy the closest thing I have to a Radar puppy picture.

[kalinoodlesoup]

sending prayers. I'm so sorry

[centrop67]

I do everything I can think of to keep my dogs healthy - All natural foods, slim weight, plenty of exercise.

Radar is the 3rd out of my last 4 dogs to get the C,

Today he got his first ever bowl of vanilla ice cream and he loved it.

Spoiling the hell out him for now, because tomorrow is the day. The arrangements have been made.

[TimL_168]

My heart breaks for you and everyone in Radar's life. Safe passage my friend.

[borellar15]

Sorry Michael... I can’t even imagine.

[centrop67]

Rest in Peace my friend.

[ladyjubilee]

I'm so sorry for your loss. Radar had a good life with you.

[Mark77]

I'm sorry to hear this. I thought he was getting better. You did the right thing.

M

[lindalew]

Heart breaking. I am so sorry for you family's loss.

[Jay knowles]

Sorry for your news Micheal, it will get easier given time, I’m sure Radar had a great life with you.
Thinking of you and your family .Jay

[centrop67]

The last few days have been highly emotional for me.

I really didn't want to let him go, but it wasn't about me.

I break into tears constantly.

I think about the past - not enough about the good times yet...

* Could I have done something different to prevent this?
* Was he truly ready and suffering as much as it appeared?
* Did I do everything to satisfy Radar's needs?
* Would he have had a better life if someone else (more experienced) had rescued him?

The last two have nagged me for a long time.

On the positive side, the emotional support from the DS community is amazing. So may well wishes, prayers, and condolences. I don't know how I could ever show my gratitude to everyone.

There will be memorial video coming soon. I can't get through all the pictures and videos without breaking down at the moment.

I also plan to publish an open letter to the asshole(s) who abused and abandoned him. Little did they know what an amazing dog he was and how he impacted not just my life but many others.

This is the shelter photo that connected Radar and me:

[ladyjubilee]

I had to make the decision with my two Dals. With the first, her cancer took time, and I had the vets try everything. To the point, one day she looked at me as if to say I'm tired mom, let me go. I actually have a photo from that moment. I can still see in her eyes she was ready for the pain to end. I promised I'd never do put another dog thru such desperate measures. Buttons went to sleep in my arms.

Gotcha was harder for me to make the decision. While we think she may have developed cancer, she was actually fading due to a unlabled degenerative neurological issues. She didn't appear to be in pain, and still had good days. I kept putting off. After summer, next week, no next week, not today may Friday, maybe Monday. Until the morning I was finally going to have the appointment at 10. She went into an agonizing crisis a bit before 5am. Because I wasn't ready, she suffered. (She had lived longer than a Dal's life expectancy.)

Gotcha's best buddy was Snuggles. He had his crisis a week later. I had to take him, but at least it was peaceful. Again, he was very old. The same for Peanuts.

With Buttons, I feel I knew the time. Someone else in my shoes, might have waited longer....actually, in my own shoes, I did wait longer, much to my guilt.

There isn't a perfect time. We will always question our decision. If we have the answer, we have control. We can make sure it doesn't happen again....except life doesn't work that way.

Also, many of my dogs have had one form of cancer or other. The reality is that just like us humans, they can get cancer. You didnt do or not do something.

You took good care of him. The photos show a happy healthy dog's life.

Also, you and I both know how many shepherds (pointy eared, dark color dogs) end up at shelters....and never come out. You gave him that out. Experience pales in the face of dedication and love (though Bramble might roll her eyes.)

[TimL_168]

There isn't a perfect time. We will always question our decision. If we have the answer, we have control. We can make sure it doesn't happen again....except life doesn't work that way.

Also, many of my dogs have had one form of cancer or other. The reality is that just like us humans, they can get cancer. You didnt do or not do something.

You took good care of him. The photos show a happy healthy dog's life.

Very well put. Completely true.

[centrop67]

Nothing would give me more joy than to see activity on this site ramp back up. I don't want my sad situation to affect that.

I couldn't think of a better tribute to Radar, than to see the pictures, read your stories, or discuss your questions than anything else.

Please don't let my sadness inhibit this.

Thanks.

[TimL_168]

I've got a few pics from camping on father's day weekend I've been meaning to post. I'll get them up here today. Nothing as good as Foxy, but they're pics.